Change is the only constant in life.

College is undoubtedly a time of transition (after transition after transition), as 20-somethings venture to find out how they fit in the world. As it typically goes, a high school senior will graduate, have the greatest summer of their lives, and move away to college. (PSA: If this doesn't describe you, that's cool. Keep reading.) Free and independent as one may feel, this is unchangeably a huge period of loss for young hearts.

For me, I lost everything that was comfortable to me. I lost the ability to drive (poor college kids ain't got no money for an automobile!). I lost friendships. I lost my clear vision of the future. I lost mentoring relationships.

and I felt this loss deeply.

I longed to have the "best year of my life" as the story goes, but my freshman year of college was subpar at best.

Halfway through my sophomore year (I have since then transferred and enjoy the college experience exponentially more), I am still finding that loss is something that I can't control. It happens, and it happens a lot in this season of my life.

and I feel this loss deeply.

I forgot where I happened upon this "truth" that my heart identified with so closely, but it stuck.

"Change is the only constant in life."

For awhile, I've lived according to this disheartening lie. People come, people go. I have made friends this year that will soon be traveling back to their home country. I have made friends who are seniors and won't be returning to campus. I have deepened relationships with mentors who are moving away. My grandmother's life is threatened with cancer, and in time, I will lose her too.

In all of this (of which I have NO control), I am looking for something to hold on to.

I have a prayer journal. Scribbles, doodles, unconscious desires of my heart, stream of consciousness writing, and sermon "notes" are beginning to fill the pages. This journal was given to me by someone dear to my heart, and I want to fill the pages with beautiful things. Psalms and prayers, truth and encouragement.

....TRUTH. But, I've scribbled this "truth" on those blank pages. In handwriting so aesthetically pleasing, the lie hides. But isn't how it always is? Sin deceives us. Genesis 3 records The Fall. Adam and Eve sinned, because the serpent tempted them with something that was pleasing. We give up our hope of eternal satisfaction for instant gratification.

"And one by one the enemy has whispered lies and led them off as slaves..." 

Oh, how I have believed the lies, always tracing it back to a disbelief in one of God's promises for me. I believe I'm not good enough - but God calls me worthy despite my sin (1 John 4:10). I believe that I am the result of the gross, ugly things that I have done - but God calls me a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). I believe that because I am weak, I am nothing - but God chose me to shame the strong (1 Corinthians 1:27).

These are the kinds of things with which I want to mull over, journal, and saturate myself. I have since then ripped out the page that held this captivating power over me. Instead of submitting to the sorrow of believing that the loving relationships that bring me joy in this life will always leave, I will take the eternal perspective. 1 John 2:17 says, "And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." Because this world is not my home, my Savior encourages me to place my faith in the unseen. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

"When my world is shaking, heaven stands
When my heart is breaking 
I never leave your hands"

Even when the waves of this world threaten me with their daunting height, I can be assured that God is constant. When I feel like I can't bear any more pain that this world causes me, God is holding me. He is the one constant in the ever-changing atmosphere of this life.

Don't you ever ever EVER look in my journal, if you would happen upon it. But if by some lucky chance you did, I pray that these are the verses you would see instead:

Hebrews 13:8 - Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Malachi 3:6 - For I [am] the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.

Revelation 1:8 - I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.

James 1:17 - Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

I'm letting this TRUTH consume my life. I have no reason to fear, because God is always, always there for me.