Predestined Purpose or Hindsight Perspective?

"When the Lord allows a wicked man to suffer, he sometimes lets a Godly man experience the same trial - so that he can show how to overcome in God's love."

Boy - does this sound good to me! This quote gives me purpose for my pain. It gives me something to hold onto, when it feels like all sense is lost. But - is it Biblical?

Certainly, the concept is great. I'm not sure a yes or no answer matters all that very much. But here is something to consider...

You're not alone. Someone else is going through what you're going through. You're not alone! Sing it to your soul. Say it over and over and over again. Write it on your hand. Paint it. Post it. Pray over it. You are not alone.

I have been questioning for a while now - Does God let things happen to us or does He plan for them to happen? Does He merely allow bad circumstances to happen (I know He is strong enough to stop it!) or does he intentionally set roadblocks in our paths to lead us to Him? Is there a predestined purpose or is it all a hindsight perspective that we construe in our minds to make all the suffering worth it?

Hebrews says He is the author and perfecter of our faith. That means God is writing my story and it is supposed to be this way, it is perfect. In Job 14, "Mortals, born of woman, are of few days and full of trouble." Later, "A person's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed." Everything is set. But this is also a sinful world we live in. I just can't come to terms with why things happen. They just do. Life gets really, really, really hard. But continually, God calls us to his mercy. They are new for us every morning.

“Fear not, I have redeemed you. I called your name, you are mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

So, for me. This statement has a lot of truth in it. God put me through what I went through, because He wanted to lead me to a perfect love and satisfaction --- Himself. And ya know what? That eases the pain, believe it or not. God's grace is covering it. He's got the whole world in His hands. He's got me. And now that I have overcome in God's love, I can lead by example and show others that the way to get through this life is with God's love. A love that cannot be matched. A love that is burning with passion. A love that is strong enough to save. That love is for you.

Sweet Nikita

This precious little girl's name is Nikita.

She just turned 9!

Her letters absolutely make my day.

She loves playing hide and seek.

Her favorite color is red.

She lives with her grandmother. 

She loves to sing and dance!

My best friend from high school (Liz) and I sponsor her together and will continue to do so until she is 18. We were at a TAN concert together back in 2011 when God moved our hearts, and we decided to take a step of faith and help someone who couldn't repay us. Nikita lives in India, where there is a high risk for girls to be sold into sexual slavery. Putting myself in her shoes, I am heartbroken. I can't even imagine the circumstances she lives in. When we returned to school the next day and were telling our friends, the majority gave us weird looks or rolled their eyes. They didn't understand. Why would we "waste" our money on someone else? 

Here's why:

Jesus was consistently speaking up for those who didn't have a voice. He was giving to the least of these. He was not seeking to be seen but to see those who needed help. "The Son of Man came to seek and save the lost." (Luke 19:10) Jesus looked at people with compassion and love. I merely seek to follow His perfect example. 

Galatians 5:13
"For you were called to freedom, brothers.  Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another…”

I love Nikita so much. I plan to meet her one day. I hope that things will fall in place so I am able to do just that. Until then, I pray for her safety and well-being but also that she comes to the saving knowledge of her Lord Jesus Christ. 

If interested in your own sponsor child, visit:

http://www.compassion.com/

Hey.

If you're growing tired of reading my blog, read this one! It's written by Mike Donehey (the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North - my favoritest band of all time) and he is just a pretty cool guy. His heart for God and desire to point people towards the grace of Jesus and his compassion and his talent all inspire me!

Czech it out:

http://mikedonehey.tumblr.com/

*** OR ***

Read the blog written by two of the wives of two of the band members of Tenth Ave.

This blog is raw and honest and beautiful. It's for all the ladies! There's an in-depth study of Proverbs 31 that I really enjoyed, as well as a bunch of other posts along the way. These women do a really great job of keeping it real. They throw in a video blog every now and again, too!

Czech it!

http://agirlikeme.com/

Look Up

I stopped trying to "find myself" and decided to seek God. 

This is a quote from the book All In, written by Mark Batterson. It really got me thinking, because as college cliches go, this is the time in my life, where I'm supposed to "learn a lot about myself" and "discover who I really am." While that's all fine and dandy, I find that if I get caught up in that way of thinking, I end up focusing on myself too much. Then quickly comes the feelings of how I just will never live up to the expectations that society has put on my hair, makeup, body, grades, personality, and the like. 

Some reflective thinking about who you are and how you perceive the world is perfectly okay, I'm just cautioning you that it is a risky path. Besides, no label could ever truly describe who you are. For example I am an INTJ according to Meyers-Briggs personality test (the rarest of types for women), but does that mean there isn't ever a time where I can be outgoing? Heavens no!

Define yourself by one thing and one thing only: a loved and redeemed child of God. 

When I stopped looking at myself and shifted my eyes up towards the cross, life became infinitely better. An attitude of gratitude overflowed from my heart. I didn't want to spend all my money on myself to help my image, but rather God replaced my selfish heart with a giving one. Things changed for me, and they will for you too. His promises hold true. Look up!

Hold Nothing Back!

I just finished this book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love" and it has challenged me in multiple ways in my faith life. Here's one of the quotes that hit home:

"We try to set our lives up so everything will be fine even if God doesn't come through. But true faith means holding nothing back. It means putting every hope in God's fidelity to His promises."

Throughout the last year of my life, God has been incessantly placing the word "surrender" on my heart. Over and over again, I was being attacked with the message to stop putting my faith in myself and give it ALL to God. Trust Him with my hopes, dreams for the future, job, love life, career path, money, absolutely all of it.

If I dig a bit deeper, God was really working in my life, as a series of events led to my revelation of surrender (the moment when it hit me square in the face and I couldn't avoid such a clear message any longer!). June 26, 2013 was the first time I ever decided to give Jesus 100% of my life. I'd given him parts before, sure. Maybe even 80%, but never had I ever gone all in with Christ. I never gave too much, wanting to avoid the risk of losing (my money, friends, job, life...whatever).

June 26 was when everything came to a halting stop, and for me - it just clicked. My faith in God doesn't have to be questioned when hard times come. His righteousness is proof of his faithfulness. Over and over again, God shows us that He is faithful. We can take Him at His word. His promises are true! We can rest knowing that those promises are for His children, and that good things are yet to come for those who believe in Him.

It's an everyday choice. Just as I have to shower, brush my teeth, and eat breakfast after I have to wake up, I have to consciously decide Jesus over all of the other things this world can offer me -- appealing or not.

But the point of this life is not to arrive safely at death! Live as if God will hold to His promises (because He will!!) and let that faith emulate through ever area of your life. Hold nothing back! No secret sin, no regret, no relationship, no choice. Because, N O T H I N G can separate you from Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-9). You are never too far gone. Today, right here, right now, as you read this blog, Jesus loves you. And He is on your side. He yearns for a relationship with you. He will come through. He HAS come through for you on the cross. Let that soak in. Jesus loves you so much that He would become man, live on this earth, and pay for your ugly sins with His perfect life.

Believe that. Once you truly do, it will change the way you live.

Al-a-ka-zam!

It's about to get real.

Right now,  I can't channel my talent of sentence fluidity or abstract descriptions or beautiful writing. I'm gonna be short, choppy, scattered, and maybe even grammatically incorrect. But that's just how it goes. Life is messy. I'm a mess.

Yeah. I wish I could fix all my problems with the snap of a finger. Honestly, I miss the times when life was easy for me. Relaxing summers, easy homework, parents got along, financial stability, boys chasing after me, success in sports.... basically everything a teenager could ask for and more.

Welcome to the real world, chump.

Maybe I'm just having a really, really, really bad case of the 'Mondays' but as with everything in life, I seek to learn something from every situation: good, bad, and everything in between.

I've felt like for the past three years, everyone was rooting against me. Life was getting harder every day I woke up, and it wasn't stopping. I couldn't get a grasp of my life. Everything was spiraling out of my control.

This time was different though, or so I thought. We're really on the up and up! But are we? Is the damage too great? Am I unfixable? Is my family permanently destroyed? What is hope?

This spring I was on a total 'thank-you binge' and trying my best to reach out to everyone who helped me through this past dark season in my life. I was trying to show them how good I was doing now and how dandy life is and everything is all smiles. But the cold hard truth smacked me in the face.

I can't be fixed in just one year... I can't expect for 3+ years of damage to turn around and be perfectly put back together in just one year. That's unrealistic, and if I'm real honest (oh, how I struggle to be honest with myself) might be totally and completely impossible.

I'll never be the same. I couldn't get a grasp of my life. Everything was spiraling out of my control... BLAM!

Lesson: Maybe, my life is in better hands, when it's not even in my control. Maybe a complete surrender of my lowly life to the Most High would be everything I need. It would be enough. Maybe it's better that I'll never be the same. Through the trial, I've discovered the most important thing to me: my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ. He loves me despite all the baggage I carry, the scars I wear, and the shame I try to hide. Maybe the gratitude I feel towards Jesus and his endless love for me will spur me to take drastic measures in faith in honor of Him, giving all the fame to Him. And maybe, just maybe, there's hope for me.